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Some portion of those of you who have not leapt out the nearest available window are perhaps wondering why I have not done this before, given my prior role as Red Room Trivia correspondent for Team Gauss - as relinquished by Dave for reasons of difficulties in commuting1. But what, dear reader, would I have said? In all preceding weeks, we've done alright. Not brilliantly, not appallingly - just alright. Unfortunately, this blog is exclusively reserved for tales of mediocrity I can get completely and irrationally incensed about - and in the case of a mediocre trivia performance....... I'm sorry, I just can't do it. NO2, my friends, when it comes to trivia there are but two reasons to blog about it:
- You kick arse.
- You suck balls.
Have a guess, given the following hint, which one occurred to us on monday. Our team name was Ethel the Frog.
Being a team of 2 1/2 members3, no-one could have really been expecting great things from us, exactly, it's true. Given that we've never done so before, however, I at least felt just that little bit disappointed when we came in stone, cold motherless last on 63 points.
What really let us down here were the big fat juicy points we missed out on from the puzzle page and the bonus section. On the former, we correctly named an octagon, a dodecagon and found the only English anagram for noiseless. We kicked ourselves4, however, for missing the only english anagram for aspirant. The bonus round (each worth 5 points) went as follows:
- What country, out of China, Brazil and South Africa, makes 70% of the world's light-bulbs? Our thought process: South Africa: too stupid, China: too obvious, Brazil: just right. I even went into a long, drawn-out justification: what country surely uses more light-bulbs than any other? The U.S.A. - hence a major manufacturing centre in Brazil makes a hell of a lot of sense........ bzzzzzzt China was correct.
- In what U.S. state is Fort Knox? This one was the question Harry had posted on-line, which I'd neglected to check like a big fat dufus. My thought process: In Goldfinger, they rob Fort Knox. I distinctly remember James Bond drinking Mint Juleps whilst being held captive. The Mint Julep is the signature drink of the Kentucky Derby. Let's answer Kentucky. Hmmm.... why would you put a big gold-filled fort in Kentucky? Let's go with a big state.... like Texas. O.K. Texas it is....... the answer was Kentucky!!!!!!!
- What element, once common in hat-making, was responsible for inducing madness: hence the phrase "as mad as a hatter"? This one we got right.
- Who successfully covered the song "Up-town Girl" in 2000 and something? I feel we should have gotten full marks for our answer: "trick question - this song cannot be successfully covered". Harry felt otherwise.
In other news, I was kind of impressed with my recognition of song and title: The Gambler by Kenny Rogers in the music round. I got this not out of any special love of country music, which I assure you I lack, but because they play it ad-nauseam at every fucking poker final I've ever been to5. It's nights like these that seriously cause me to question my status as a trivia god. You, and you only, dear reader, can prevent a repeat of this ignominy by coming to monday trivia..... and maybe reminding me to check Harry's web-site for that damn bonus question.
1By virtue of his being in France.
2 I like big letters. I also like shiny objects, and footnotes.
3 We had a 3rd member who stayed for 1/2 the night.
4Hmmm... or rather Adriana kicked me.
5 Actually, me and a friend of mine are in the habit of standing up from our allocated tables in a hands-on-heart salute. This is a lie. Actually, we meant to do so, but what actually ended up happening was as followed: I stood up, looked for my friend, who didn't, then made like I was stretching my legs or something and sat down like a pansy.
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17 comments:
I would of given you full points for the up-town girl remark.
Leesa.
Ooh, 2000. That was in my Channel V days. I remember someone covering it - I reckon it was a boyband. Boyzone?
That anagram for 'aspirant' sure was obscure - I've never heard of an antirasp before.
You mean there are TWO???? Or was that a joke? The answer they wanted was partisan.
For the anagrams I get so-senile and airpants. Am I right?
Uptown girl - definitely a boy band. My first thought was Backstreet boys but then I realised that no matter how corny they were, they never thought they were corny. Maybe either westlife or boyzone, but I think I'm missing one.
Not that I would know.
porn for children
This is the most blatant Google-whoring I've yet seen from you.
I would tell Zdravko to come to trivia but he might not be available. Yesterday he received a summons for jury duty! I see a reality television show in the making.
"He comes from a distant country and a distant culture. A modern day Don Quixote. One of the world's greatest living stochasticians. Now he has been randomly picked from a uniformly distributed probability space containing the citizens on the electoral roll for… JURY DUTY."
Cut to a shot of the Z-man with a Borat moustache and wearing tight fluoro pink shorts: "Well at least we don’t get shot."
"Ganster vs the Geek, Coming to SBS in December."
Geoff, you do realise you should have one of these blog things yourself, right?
Oh, and incidentally in response to the above, I'd b eternally grateful to whomsoever does the following:
1) Making that reality TV show
2) Seeing where I stand on a google search for "porn for children"
Oh, and if ever my memory retained the identity of the boy-band in question, my brain's self-defense mechanisms immediately ejected it. I just can't tell anyone whether or not they're right on that one....
whomsoever does the following:
That should be 'whosoever', Fitz. You will have to try harder to sound sophisiticated to me.
'Geoff, you do realise you should have one of these blog things yourself, right?'
Fitz, I don't have the time to devote to a blog. Well, I suppose I could cut down on my afternoon nap, or my three hour lunch. But you have to ask yourself, would that really be a life worth living?
To Heck with your high falutin' words, sir.
If any of youse wants ta do that stuff for me, that'd be tops, mate.
And incidentally, the porn for children thing was, surprisingly enough, not a case of google whoring. I meant the title to mean [team name] goes down, as in goes down in flames - then said to myself "If I were to write a 'my first porn book' for a children's publisher .... what a good title that'd be" .... THEN spotted the happy coincidence with the sucking of balls line.
It's amazing how things turn out sometimes......
maewfannwr.livejournal.com
Just spamming.
See what happens when you allow anonymous comments? You get blogspam.
blogspam..... that sounds kind of dirty.....
One for my dedicated google whoring post.......
I would have spammed it anyway.
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