It is time to redress this imbalance. I propose, dear reader2, that we hereby compile a list of candidates in a quest to uncover the the sexiest mathematician of all time a-la Dave's classic and terribly popular 'what's your favourite cardinal?' poll3. You can nominate yourself if you like, and yes, Martin, you can nominate Victor.
I wish to propose the following two candidates.
Geralomo Cardano , of Cardano's Method fame - a method which has the dual distinctions of 1 Victor Scharashkin's actually expecting us to remember the fucking thing on a 4th year Galois theory exam4 and 2 not really being Cardano's anyway. Apart from his dashing good looks, debonair smile and raw animal magnetism he has the following to commend him as a hard-drinking, hard-living, devil-may-care hornbag:
- After wheedling the general solution to the cubic from his friend with the promise not to tell anyone else, he promptly published it.
- He was a professional gambler who published posthumously a book on, amongst other things, effective cheating methods.
- He was convivted of Heresy, with his own son contributing to the prosecution.
- Having predicted astrologically the date of his own death, he killed himself on said day.
Kurt Gödel , the man himself. And when I say "the man", I mean this in the sense of "who's the man?" Kurt's the man. As I go through the following I challenge you, ladies, to tell me you wouldn't hit that.
- He looked like a relative of Count Dracula.
- He married a night-club dancer. Up high, Kurt.
- He proved results which ran counter to, not only the entire generation of which he was a part, but pretty much everyone who went before him.
- Not only did he proved the mutual exclusiveness of the completeness and consistency of formal arithmetic on upwards - he did so by inserting into formal arithmetic an analogue of the statement "this statement is unprovable" - leading one to the inescapable conclusion that people were uncomfortable about his work not due to point 3., but because no-body likes a smart-arse.
- When being naturalised as a U.S. citizen he lectured the judge on the U.S. constitution and explained to him a loop-hole he'd found while Albert Einstein sat in the background saying "It's allright,........he's with me".
- He was completely, irretrievably insane - dying of starvation presumably because he thought that ghosts lived in his fridge.
- Whenever asked the question "What are you rebelling against?", he'd always answer with an Arnold-Schwarzenegger like voice "Vat Haf You Got".
1Clio Cresswell doesn't, doesn't count.
2And I probably really do mean "reader" - singular, here.
3I still go with aleph1 . There's something I can relate to in the least cardinal in a state of identity crisis.
4Bastard!!!!!
5 Having bought said shirt at some trendy expensive boutique and failed to appreciate the irony