And so the game continues

I guess at least two things have occurred to me over the last, oh, 48 hours what with the .... barrage¹ ..... of 'post something you bastard' messages I've been receiving. The first is that my life is not, it turns out, all that interesting. The second is that god (assuming he/she/it/Frederick actually exists) must, what with his/her/its/Frederick's constant state of omnipotent watchfulness over everyone, think that people are completely fecking loopy. I'm afraid I just can't imagine there'd be many of us who, if followed around for a day, wouldn't commit some act which, while completely reasonable and sensible in the confines of our own head, would make a casual observer believe us to be a nut-job².

Anyways, not having all that much else to post about .... rather than going and committing an act such as this travesty against human decency and in addition offering the excuse that, lately, my creative juices have been employed elsewhere, I'm going to dwell on the second thought for a moment.

So it turns out I am in the habit, dear reader, of .... darting .... through doors. Which is to say .... well, picture a set of revolving doors, or the kind of doors that are slowly self-closing. Imagine you are approaching such a set of doors which are just beating you, if you get my meaning³. Being as I am a student of human folly, I have noticed that most people negotiate their way through such a circumstance by simply extending their arm, opening the door a little further ajar and proceeding through the open doorway.

I am not such an individual.

I treat this circumstance as a kind of ....well, game. The rules are very simple. If it is at all humanly possible to get through those doors without touching either the door itself or the wall into which it is closing .... this must be attempted.⁴ Anyone wishing to understand the giddy thrill achievable through this game is directed to go to this video, fast forward to 1 minute 59 seconds into it and reflect on just how cool that scene really was.

There is, however, a moral to this story and it is this. Given the lengths to which I sometimes go to play this game, it is perhaps surprising that I would not have found the following piece of advice helpful before now. It is, we can all agree, highly likely to encounter someone else trying to get through the door going the other way. This being the case, playing said game while carrying cups of hot tea can be a very bad idea.....

Here endeth the lesson, grass-hopper.

¹Are we happy with this word "barrage"? I'm not quite sure that requests from 2 individuals should strictly count as a 'barrage' .... I'm going to run with it, though, on account of how it probably represents around 20% of my actual readership.

²Well, at least I hope this is true...

³Which is to say your rate of approach is just insufficient to beat the doors effort to close in front of you.

⁴This is important.

A picture is worth 1000 cock jokes.

So, ordinarily, I don't really go in for religious paraphernalia, but..... there's something about this piece that speaks to me.