Monday, May 10, 2010

You were lied to as a child.

My palms were sweaty1. I was nervous. I had, however, once more avoided an awkward encounter in a lift.

"I made it" I announced to Ads,who had once again, just moments before, initiated an inane phone conversation having exhausted all constructive work and communist tea party related activities at work. "Well" she quipped, her voice quavering in that 'I am about to say something really clever' kind of tone. "What goes up must come down".

What goes up........ no, I'm sorry dear reader, but this is Bullshit. Why do they do this kind of thing to you when you're young3? Leaving aside the fact that 'up' is such a completely relative term anyway... what about clay pigeons? Hmm? What about if we, say, made a really big cannon and fired Sol Trujillo into the sun?

I realise that this is the day after Mother's day and all..... but I see through your lies, mum.

So kids, what goes up does not have to come down4.

1Mom's spaghetti2.

2O.K. Sue me. That was American spelling.

3Watched kettles do fucking boil.

4This is a metaphor for life5.

5Ads made me write this.

2 comments:

Hewhoblogs said...

communist tea party

Maybe I've just spent too long on the internet reading about the bad sort of tea party, but we should DO that!

Andrew said...

July. It's a date.