I boarded a train today. Shortly after arriving at the station in question, I was informed by an automatic speaker message that the train I was about to board would, unfortunately, be approximately 29 minutes late.
"Ah", I thought.
Immediately after this announcement the seeds of a letter formed in my head. It would be a glorious letter of complaint, sent to Queensland Rail dripping with sarcasm and a biting caustic wit. In it I would announce the manner in which, when 29 minutes after its scheduled arrival the train in question arrived, I decided not to board it - confident as I was that around 1 minute later another train going the same way would be arriving - only to find out that no such train was to be forthcoming. Everyone from the nameless drone first to open the letter all the way up to the PR stooge tasked with crafting a response would know that the writing was on the wall. I'm on to you Queensland Rail. The revolution would have humble beginnings. Gradually, others, too would join me - each of us awaiting that fateful spring day in which we hoist our revolutionary flag over QRs offices ushering in a new dawn in which the railway would have the common fucking decency to acknowledge that a train arriving 29 minutes late is, in fact, the next train, and that those waiting for the train in question should be allowed their opportunity to grieve and achieve closure, as the train they were after is no more.
Three minutes after the announcement, however, I was informed that the train in question would arrive in two minutes.
Just so you all know where I'm at. In my life.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Price of Free Speech
Anyone choosing to visit The Australian Blogs Page will notice the title The Price of Free Speech immediately to the right of a picture of Janet Albrechtsen. Unfortunately, I have the melancholy duty to inform you that this is not, as I assumed, a laudable case of The Australian changing the name of Janet's blog in the interests of honest trading. Rather, it is a link to This rant on what Janet sees as the blatant hypocrisy of the global pinko-commo conspiracy as illustrated by the fact that Columbia university saw fit to allow Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to give a single speech there (following an introduction in which he is labelled a "petty and cruel dictator" by the president of Columbia University), while at a completely different university 3000 alumni signed a petition opposing Donald Rumsfeld's appointment to a fellowship at the Hoover Institution.
FOR SHAME!!!!!!!!!!
I may not be able to find, in her little tirade, what exactly her fucking point is but I will defend to the death her right to champion the right of right-wing columnists everywhere not to make any fucking sense at all. Vive le free speech!!!!!! Vive le Janet!!!!!
FOR SHAME!!!!!!!!!!
I may not be able to find, in her little tirade, what exactly her fucking point is but I will defend to the death her right to champion the right of right-wing columnists everywhere not to make any fucking sense at all. Vive le free speech!!!!!! Vive le Janet!!!!!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Poker
Suppose you are a sporting club or some other kind of similar organisation and you're looking to host a fishing competition. There is an entry fee and a cash prize for the winner which is drawn exclusively from the sum raised by such entry fees. I'm not a lawyer, but I imagine that this would be a perfectly legal thing to do in the state of Queensland (and if it isn't, why the fuck not?). In fact, if you were to substitute 'bridge' for 'fishing', well, that'd be ducky too, yeah? Bridge is a nice, respectable game, after all. You play it wearing dorky bow-ties and vests. It's like the golf you play when you want to play golf instead with a deck of cards, a partner and a table.
So, given the post title, I'm sure everyone reading this sees where I'm going with this (this is probably trivially true.......), but I'm going to spell it out anyway. What, pray tell, would happen if you were to now substitute the word 'bridge' for 'poker'? Well. Now it becomes gambling, therefore bad and therefore illegal unless you've payed for some ridiculously expensive license that lets you do so (when the real benefit of such an event is not in takings from the game, but in the crowd you draw). Apparently, it's perfectly alright for a sports club or pub to own row upon row of pokies into which hypnotised cretins can pour money to see the pretty shiny lights. It's alright for the Treasury casino to skim of the top of people's winnings in a stupid structured-betting version of texas hold-em (rules that make consistent big winnings much more difficult). That shit's just ducky, Charlotte - but heaven forbid we allow people to start playing the kind of game with each other, from which a casino cannot really profit that much and which, with practice, you can actually learn to consistently win. What the fuck is the deal here? Here endeth the first part of my polemic rant.
Now for the second. I was at the season QPE final in Ballina on sunday. There are 300 qualifiers from, I think, 20 clubs (no-one has paid to enter). First place gets $5000, 2nd place $2000 and downward from there. I came in somewhere in the 40s. So why am I pissed? It's not entirely sour grapes at being more or less forced by blind sizes to go all-in on pocket jacks, because to be fair I would have been in real trouble anyways seeing as the flop showed a 10, a 9 and an 8 (giving me an open-ended straight draw on top of a pair higher than anything on the board) .......and I was facing off against a half-drunk bogan with pocket aces (and obviously I didn't subsequently get a queen, a jack or a 7). After coming back from the final break they were rising the blinds by a lot every 15 minutes (there were about 70 people left in and they kind of want to force an out-come). Having broken the second table I was sent to just prior to the break (I mean this literally... I knocked 5 people, half the table, out of the tournament - I left with 21,700 having started the tournament with 2,400). I was forced to move. This is bad at the best of times - you have to learn a new table and you want to establish some fear there. Worse, I look down the table: person 1: half-drunk bogan, person 2: half-drunk bogan, person 3: half-dr....... I mean, if I'd wanted to play against a table of heavy drinking bogans who treat the game like 'bingo', only with more cards and beer involved I'd be playing in the Australian Poker League. The up-side is that if I hit something really good, I can be pretty much guaranteed to sucker these people into insane calls when they feel their manhood is at stake and they don't want to look scared off. The down-side is that I can't afford to bluff too early or try to steal pots because I'll get called for pretty much the same reason. I get a run of un-playable cards in unplayable positions. Table gets broken up, and I'm shortly at another bogan-heavy table in about half an hour, where blinds are now 3000-6000 and I have 18,000 left. The blinds started at 25-50 and I made almost all of my 21,700 (the highest I saw) with blinds at no more than 300-600. The point being, I had to work a lot harder to gain those chips than those who took them by virtue of being in the right place at the right time. I really see no reason for the blinds to rise at such a meteoric rate..... especially when you're going to be pushing people around from table to table like that. It doesn't need to be this way QPE!!! Not fucking happy Jan.
So, given the post title, I'm sure everyone reading this sees where I'm going with this (this is probably trivially true.......), but I'm going to spell it out anyway. What, pray tell, would happen if you were to now substitute the word 'bridge' for 'poker'? Well. Now it becomes gambling, therefore bad and therefore illegal unless you've payed for some ridiculously expensive license that lets you do so (when the real benefit of such an event is not in takings from the game, but in the crowd you draw). Apparently, it's perfectly alright for a sports club or pub to own row upon row of pokies into which hypnotised cretins can pour money to see the pretty shiny lights. It's alright for the Treasury casino to skim of the top of people's winnings in a stupid structured-betting version of texas hold-em (rules that make consistent big winnings much more difficult). That shit's just ducky, Charlotte - but heaven forbid we allow people to start playing the kind of game with each other, from which a casino cannot really profit that much and which, with practice, you can actually learn to consistently win. What the fuck is the deal here? Here endeth the first part of my polemic rant.
Now for the second. I was at the season QPE final in Ballina on sunday. There are 300 qualifiers from, I think, 20 clubs (no-one has paid to enter). First place gets $5000, 2nd place $2000 and downward from there. I came in somewhere in the 40s. So why am I pissed? It's not entirely sour grapes at being more or less forced by blind sizes to go all-in on pocket jacks, because to be fair I would have been in real trouble anyways seeing as the flop showed a 10, a 9 and an 8 (giving me an open-ended straight draw on top of a pair higher than anything on the board) .......and I was facing off against a half-drunk bogan with pocket aces (and obviously I didn't subsequently get a queen, a jack or a 7). After coming back from the final break they were rising the blinds by a lot every 15 minutes (there were about 70 people left in and they kind of want to force an out-come). Having broken the second table I was sent to just prior to the break (I mean this literally... I knocked 5 people, half the table, out of the tournament - I left with 21,700 having started the tournament with 2,400). I was forced to move. This is bad at the best of times - you have to learn a new table and you want to establish some fear there. Worse, I look down the table: person 1: half-drunk bogan, person 2: half-drunk bogan, person 3: half-dr....... I mean, if I'd wanted to play against a table of heavy drinking bogans who treat the game like 'bingo', only with more cards and beer involved I'd be playing in the Australian Poker League. The up-side is that if I hit something really good, I can be pretty much guaranteed to sucker these people into insane calls when they feel their manhood is at stake and they don't want to look scared off. The down-side is that I can't afford to bluff too early or try to steal pots because I'll get called for pretty much the same reason. I get a run of un-playable cards in unplayable positions. Table gets broken up, and I'm shortly at another bogan-heavy table in about half an hour, where blinds are now 3000-6000 and I have 18,000 left. The blinds started at 25-50 and I made almost all of my 21,700 (the highest I saw) with blinds at no more than 300-600. The point being, I had to work a lot harder to gain those chips than those who took them by virtue of being in the right place at the right time. I really see no reason for the blinds to rise at such a meteoric rate..... especially when you're going to be pushing people around from table to table like that. It doesn't need to be this way QPE!!! Not fucking happy Jan.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Hello, and welcome to my blog
So, I'm sitting around one Saturday afternoon and I'm asking myself to come up with a short list of things, the lack of which, is making the world a far worse place than it otherwise could be.
Sadly, all that I seemed able to come up with was another pointless blog in the proud tradition of Chris' myblogisagoodblog and Sam's opus myblogisafairblog. Whereas the reader is left to come to their own conclusion as to whether or not Chris' blog is good and whether or not Sam's blog is, in fact, fair there can be no argument when it comes to mine - my blog is, most definitely, another blog.
In keeping with this name the reader is asked to expect great things from this blog. Expect caustic wit. Expect a thorough, insightful and up-to-date commentary on current events. Expect deep and reflective monologues revealing the true nature of mankind and its place in a grand, majestic universe. Expect to laugh. Expect to cry. Expect all of these things so that my blog can truly make you know the meaning of the word "disappointment".
Sadly, all that I seemed able to come up with was another pointless blog in the proud tradition of Chris' myblogisagoodblog and Sam's opus myblogisafairblog. Whereas the reader is left to come to their own conclusion as to whether or not Chris' blog is good and whether or not Sam's blog is, in fact, fair there can be no argument when it comes to mine - my blog is, most definitely, another blog.
In keeping with this name the reader is asked to expect great things from this blog. Expect caustic wit. Expect a thorough, insightful and up-to-date commentary on current events. Expect deep and reflective monologues revealing the true nature of mankind and its place in a grand, majestic universe. Expect to laugh. Expect to cry. Expect all of these things so that my blog can truly make you know the meaning of the word "disappointment".
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